Let’s all go to the lobby, Let’s all go to the lobby….

I suppose you could say I’ve been “Experimenting with cinema” as of late. And by that I would mean “I’ve been taking risks and just watching shit I wouldn’t normally watch”.

So the other day, I took risk number one…

Risk Number 1: The Last Mimzy

Oh boy… Where do I even begin with this? Tell you what I’ll sum it up. Two kids from Seattle find a Bunny/Robot thing from the future that gives them psychic powers in order to try and save a the Earth… IN THE FUTURE. Throw in some tibetan lore, a Science teachers dreams, some floating stones, a slug like “Generator” and Alice and Wonderland references and you have, “The Last Mimzy”. It was…. Strange. A slightly surreal experience. Enjoyable? Yea why not. It certainly wasn’t dire but then again it wasn’t anything groundbreaking. I enjoyed it for what it was, an ambitious take on the sci-fi genre for children. Should you watch it? Depends. If your into this kinda thing, then try it, but get ready for some bad acting, shaky narrative’s and a hell of a lot of weird.

 

Risk Number 2: Superhero Movie

 

I want to clear something up instantly  before I start. We get tickets for free, me and my girlfriend that is, until next march. Therefore, we go to the cinema quite a lot. Already we’ve been to see the quite controversial “Indiana Jones and the kingdom of the Crystal Skull”, the surprisingly quite god “What happens in Vegas”  and a repeat of  ”Superbad”. Bearing in mind we’d seen “The Last Mimzy” the day before, we decided this. We would go to the cinema, and watch whatever was on because we took a risk with “The Last Mimzy” and enjoyed it. So there we were, staring at the listings and we could have went to see “The Happening”, “Wanted” or “Adulthood” but for some reason we didn’t want to. We just went “You know what, I don’t wanna see any of them. Hey! That Superhero thing looks alright!”. Biggest mistake ever. Before the movie even started some chavs decided it would be funny to drop a stinkbomb and run around the room for a bit. They got thrown out, and Goddamn it I wish I had been too. This movie is diabolical. The worst thing is, it’s basically the first “Spiderman” movie re-acted out so it has a very decent narrative running throughout. I can actually sit here and say, if they kept the narrative in and just repeated it I would have enjoyed it more. At some points I was even begging for them to not ruin the scene with some crude jokes or really un-funny actions. There were some good Actors in there. Drake whatshisface from “Drake and Josh” which I hate but hey, he’s a good actor and Leslie Neilson, one of my all time favorite actors since I first saw “The Naked Gun“. As for the rest however, well look on the poster. Pamela Anderson is literally in it for a minute, the wolverine guy is in it for 30 seconds, the Storm character is in it for around 10, the Human Torch is in one scene… that’s around three minutes long and the Professor Xavier character is in bits, so overall has around ten minutes of screen time. Overall, this movie was dire. A literal waste of my time. I enjoyed around 2% of this movies content and even then it was something I’d seen before, or half arsed remarks about popular culture. All in all, It’s just “Scary Movie” with superheroes. And that’s not a good thing. Unless your twelve. 

 

So, today we’ve decided to go back to the cinema and see the preview of “Hancock”. Apparently it’s not too good, but I don’t believe it! I mean come on, Will Smith’s never been in anything bad!

 

 

Games! God the Games….

So, on Monday I decided to dig my teeth into a MMO. Oh I’ve tried before trust me on that but I decided “Well what the hell, I may as well”. 11 weeks off school and counting, I thought I may as well do something constructive. So I bought Funcom’s “Age Of Conan“, and surprisingly it rocks. I’m saying surprisingly because all reviews have just compared it to “Teh mighty WoW lol” and gave it a bad mark but personally, I think it’s the most fresh, fun and  beautiful MMO on the market. So yea, I’m addicted

 

I’m a level 13 Cimmerian Barbarian, currently exploring the area around the pirate city of Tortage (man it feels nerdy to say that ). I think the best thing  for me is, is that my Dad is a major Robert.E Howard fan. I mean, as I sit here I can see 72 Conan books and behind me there’s probably thousands of Conan comics. I’m saying probably, there will be. He has 11,000 comics altogether (Marvel, DC, Dark Horse, EC) and told me that he had “Every single Conan comic ever published”. I just took that as he had.

 

So yea! Conan. Brilliant game, in fact one of the best I’ve played. But I do have one warning for all those who want to play it. For the love of God, don’t trust can you run it?, the Internet application that analyses your computer to test how games will perform. This is what it said about me:

A lot of red… So this is what it expected me to play it like:

If you can’t see from the image the draw distance is horrible, the edges are very rough and it just generally looks rather bad.

 

However, upon being prompted by my girlfriend I knocked it up to high and… I could play it on extremely high… I’d post a comparison screen shot but looking at it now, you can’t really see much of a difference because of  where I am. A volcano at night

 

So “Age Of Conan” has given me a very, very good MMO to play. But then the inevitable happened. 

You see that right there? Yea, that’s a freak of nature created by me. Spore has decided to show it’s freakish head to me this week and the devastating thing is, is that I promised I wouldn’t buy any other games this year due to the quite frankly ridiculous “Age Of Conan” subscription fees. But then again, I do have the whole summer ahead of me! So what is there to loose?

 

Oh, and also. Team Fortress 2 updates are out today (at some point), including the fantastic new Pyro weapons and achievements, I’ll probably no doubt be commenting on them tomorrow :P. Either way, it looks like Age Of Conan may not even get played tonight

 

I’m off down a stream now with some friends. Why a stream? Why not!